written on 06 May
at 0137 hrs

*and i wonder how my world would look without you* -the juliana theory

I read this really funny page on how to come up with an emo band name.

Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I moved all the April entries to Pitas, 'cuz I like their archive method better. Needless to say, it took me a big minute to do so. Perhaps this month I'll start sooner.

We may be a thousand miles apart, but I'll be with you wherever you are. I'm already there.

Sarah and I got in a big argument the other day, and consequently Ben and I got in a big fight. (That reminds me, I need to put my links back in.) I got everything off my chest as far as Sarah goes, though. I thought she was a tad shitty and untruthful during our argument, but I probably was, too. Although, all of what I said was truthful.

She told me that it was hard dating Ben 'cuz it was never just Ben & Sarah in the relationship. I was always there. I told her that it was naive of her to think it would be just the two of them, given I have always been such a big part of his life.

She claims that she told Ben not to talk to me while they were dating 'cuz I "kept trying to date him" while they were together. Which is a big buncha horseshit. He initiated things with me that May weekend. And when he decided he didn't want to be together after all, I tried to change his mind, 'cuz that's what I felt was right. But he told me to get over him, and I worked at that. It's a buncha he said-she said, but I know what happened.

And maybe it's the reason things are still fucked up today.

Matt's coming here in June to see Radiohead at Red Rocks. I don't know that the reality of that has hit me, yet. I'm excited to see him, to be able to hang out with him, but I don't know what to feel. Given that our hanging out is going to step on some toes (even if they're just in my imagination,) I feel sort of shitty being happy that he's coming out here.

I wish I didn't always need something new. Ben gives me a lot of grief about it. I don't know what it is.

Maybe I just need to lighten up.

Man, Tracy Chapman's, "The Promise" is such a freakin' awesome song.

Maybe I'll actually send out a notify about this entry.

::laughs into the sunset::