written on 02 Feb
at 2354 hrs

*Please don't forget my name.* -Juliana Theory

The real entry for today is here.

I wait all week for Weekend Update on SNL. Is that sad? I can't help it, man, that is the best part of SNL. Always has been, even. Colin Quinn was hott. And Dennis Miller? Rocks. Anyway, gay Hitler was back on tonight and it cracked me the hell up. But not as much as when Jimmy Fallon did a parody of Ludacris' Roll Out aimed at the fact that the Olympics are in February [Black History Month,] which is funny 'cuz black people hate the cold.

I am a horrible girlfriend. Ben was elected into a new position in VT's Senate, and I can't be supportive of it because I just think of our hall council last year. Here's how it breaks down:
Last year there was this snotty girl in our hall council named Lyndsey. Lyndsey McTattletale. Valerie and I always had issues with her 'cuz she talked a lot but never did anything. [We hate inactive people.] Anyway, I wrote about this in this journal, probably, even in like April or May. But the long and short of it is that Lyndsey found out about this journal and an entry I'd written about her not being an effective leader. [I can't even remember what she was in charge of, now that I think about it.] Anyway, it was true. She totally was a shitty-ass leader, and that's fine; some people are not meant to be leaders. First of all, I didn't give her my journal link 'cuz A) We weren't friends, and 2) It's none of her fucking business. However, E gave her my link [so this must've been when I was still at Pitas, so nevermind...] and she read it. [Fuck him, too, for the record.] Instead of coming and talking to me about it like a big kid, she went to our advisor and tattled on me. And when it came down to it, I told them both to fuck off, and that I was not going to apologize for what I wrote in my journal. Regardless of if it's on the internet or not, it is still mine and I am not going to censor myself because McTattletale can't handle the truth. I ended up crying because neither of them could understand that this is my space and regardless of whether or not I mean everything I write here, I shouldn't have to apologize for it just because she's a big ass, sheltered little white girl from a small town and no one has ever challenged her. [This is rather long as opposed to short, isn't it?}
Anyway, Ben holds the same position as McTattletale did and my opinion of that position is obscured by the fact that she's such a fucking pansy-ass little crybaby. I'm a bad girlfriend.

But I am a damn good proof reader. Damn good, people. I remember last year one of the RAs would bring his papers to Man and me and we'd sit down with our different colored pens and split the pages up, odd and even. And we'd sit there, brows furrowed, completely silent except for the occasional, "Read me the last sentence on page three," or, "Listen to this, what's wrong?" The thing I appreciate about people asking if I'll read their papers is the fact that they recognize I'm a hardass, and say what I think is wrong. It makes me feel happy that people are willing to subject their works to my critical brain. Guarantee, though, if it's a great paper, I'll tell you so. I'm not a total dick, after all.

Mollybean called me tonight, and it was great fun. I like talking to her so much because she really is just funny. She has this cute little voice and she tells the best stories, and we totally crack up together at what fools boys are. I can't wait for us to hang out.

Also, do you think the Pope woke up one morning when he was a young boy and thought, [in Polish, of course,] "One day I'm going to be the Pope."?